(humor print)

Wednesday, 1:35 P.M. (Excerpt from Slouchers)

(Originally appeared Slouchers)

Netflix Documentaries We Watched While Under Quarantine

(Originally appeared in New Yorker)

Date Ideas for a Post-Quarantine World

(Originally appeared in New Yorker)

Events We Are Actually Glad Were Cancelled

(Originally appeared in New Yorker)

Saw You On the Q Train

(Originally appeared in Esquire)

Introducing Yelp for Sex Positions

(Originally appeared in GQ)

Ikea Instructions

(Originally appeared in Esquire)

Like It or Unfriend It

(Originally appeared New York Times)

My Name Is Smokey

(Originally appeared in Esquire)

Whoops!

(Originally appeared on McSweeney's)