Sex-A-Day Positions

(Originally appeared in Opium Print #3, September 2006.
Written with Ted Travelstead. Illustrated by Julian Sancton.)

Monday
sex_position_1_monday.gif
The “Multi-Tasking While Filling Out A Sudoku Puzzle”

Tuesdaysex_position_2_tuesday.gif
The “I Need to Wear These Driving Gloves Because of My Eczema”

Wednesday sex_position_3_wednesday.gif
The “I Can’t Believe We Just Met on Craigslist”

Thursday sex_position_4_thursday.gif
The “How Do You Like My Giant Foam Cowboy Hat”

Friday sex_position_5_friday.gif
The “Please Don’t Eat the Chili-Dog on Our
New Tempur-Pedic Mattress”

Saturday sex_position_6_saturday.gif
The “Vasectomy Hasn’t Healed Yet”

Sunday sex_position_7_sunday.gif
The “Prowler Fantasy Gone Terribly Wrong”

Monday

The “Hurry, I’m Due Back at the Piercing Pagoda”

Tuesday
The “Caught Looking at Mexican Midget Porn”

Wednesday Banjo
The “Banjo as Foreplay”

Thursday Notes
The “Hang On a Second, Honey,
I Want to Refer to My Hand-Written Notes”

Friday Lizard
The “I Hate to Complain, But Your Award-Winning Horned-Lizard
is Licking My Toes”