Welcome to Woodmont College

It’s a ritual as time-honored among teenagers as prom or drinking too much and crashing your parents’ Corolla into a window of a Circuit City—glossy catalogs from colleges arriving by the dozen each spring. Aside from the faint odor of kiwi bubblegum vape smoke, Woodmont College’s catalog, Welcome to Woodmont, is superficially not unlike the others. But there’s no school quite like Woodmont College (no longer “university” due to a court order). And every page of this catalog is proof of this special uniqueness, whether it’s touting the college’s low rate of scorpion infestation or celebrating its faculty’s various facial tattoos. The best part? You can own Welcome to Woodmont today and learn for yourself why U.S. News and World Report has hailed the school as “a singular educational experience for young people searching for neglect of the arts and aggression by townies.”

Humorists Jason Roeder and Mike Sacks are your guides to Woodmont College—its missteps, its glories, its unsupervised quicksand pits—in this e-book exclusive from McSweeney’s Internet Tendency.