(humor print)

It Is Party Time at Club Seacrets!

(Originally appeared on McSweeney's)

Memorable Senior Pranks

(Originally appeared on VanityFair.com)

Things a Man MUST Do Before the Age of 30!

(Originally appeared in McSweeney's)

WHERE’S SKITTLES?!!!

(Originally appeared on McSweeney's)

Dear Family and Estate of John Updike

(Originally appeared on Barnesandnoble.com)

Famous Philosophers and How They Were First Discovered

(Originally appeared on McSweeney's)

Geoff Sarkin is Using Twitter!

(Originally appeared in The New Yorker)

Dear Mr. Don DeLillo

(Originally appeared on BarnesandNoble.com)

Dear Mr. Thomas Pynchon

(Originally appeared originally appeared on Barnesandnoble.com)

My Parents, Enid and Sal, Used to Be Famous Porn Stars

(Originally appeared in The New Yorker)