Sex-A-Day Positions
(Originally appeared in Opium Print #3, September 2006. Written with Ted Travelstead. Illustrated by Julian Sancton.)
Monday
The “Multi-Tasking While Filling Out A Sudoku Puzzle”
Tuesday
The “I Need to Wear These Driving Gloves Because of My Eczema”
Wednesday 
The “I Can’t Believe We Just Met on Craigslist”
Thursday 
The “How Do You Like My Giant Foam Cowboy Hat”
Friday 
The “Please Don’t Eat the Chili-Dog on Our
New Tempur-Pedic Mattress”
Saturday 
The “Vasectomy Hasn’t Healed Yet”
Sunday 
The “Prowler Fantasy Gone Terribly Wrong”
Monday
The “Hurry, I’m Due Back at the Piercing Pagoda”
Tuesday 
The “Caught Looking at Mexican Midget Porn”
Wednesday 
The “Banjo as Foreplay”
Thursday 
The “Hang On a Second, Honey,
I Want to Refer to My Hand-Written Notes”
Friday 
The “I Hate to Complain, But Your Award-Winning Horned-Lizard
is Licking My Toes”